I know that being vulnerable doesn’t always feel good. In fact it can be downright terrifying at times. However, vulnerability makes you stronger, a better leader, human and friend.
Vulnerability creates intimacy and allows you to be open enough to connect with other people. The opposite of having the desire to be vulnerable with someone is being closed off and emotionally disinvested in those around you. A person having trouble with being vulnerable will be more apt to create barriers instead of healthy boundaries.
I’ve admittedly been there. In that place where you are completely closed off. Unable to be vulnerable. I was a loving and friendly person on the outside but hurting on the inside and longing for true connection and friendship.
It took a real heart check to be honest with myself about where I was emotionally in order to shake myself. It’s easy to portray that you are good, when you’re not, but vulnerability is your truest and bravest self showing up consistently.
If you find yourself in a similar place, it’s going to take a little courage to find your way back, but here are a few ways to get there:
Create Healthy Boundaries (Boundaries vs Barriers)
Barriers are created in defense. With barriers you are waiting on someone to cross a line that doesn’t suit you. Instead of taking control, barriers are like carrying around a shield waiting for an attack.
Boundaries are created in offense. Boundaries are set and allow you to be free because you are in control. Boundaries say, this will work for me and this will not, but ultimately you are in control.
Throughout your journey there will be people who will not believe or even support your dreams. These are the people you will create healthy boundaries for. The boundary could be as simple as you not discussing your goals and pursuits with them.
Realize that vulnerability goes hand in hand with transparency. When people are unable to be transparent with their lives, they can cause others to believe in perfectionism. Vulnerability says “I’ve been there. I’m human. Here are my scars, failures and shortcomings, but here are my successes. Here are the ways that I was able to overcome. Here is how you can too”. Let’s work on showing true vulnerability with others and with ourselves.
Brene’ Brown is this magical unicorn that I’ve kept in my back pocket, but I want to share with you some of the amazingness that I’ve become enamored with. Watch this 5 min clip as she walks through vulnerability.